Mile High Magic

It is simple really...Kinji asked and Kaleigh said yes!

But in all reality, a lot of planning went into the whole thing. We had a road trip planned to go up and visit friends and family in Colorado in June, but Kinji had other plans in mind as well.

Kaleigh was able to show him around her past summer's stomping grounds and did almost every tourist thing imaginable. Rockies game at Coors field, wine tasting in Old Town Arvada, Iron Man III with grandma, Coors Brewery Tour, Casa Bonita, attending service at Flatirons Church, taking in a Colorado sunset, Beau Jo's pizza, family BBQ, corn hole in the kitchen and to top it all off...a trip to Mile High Stadium.

As I am sure you can all guess by the pictures, that is in fact where he popped the infamous question. Lets just say it is a good thing that Kaleigh is as blonde as she is because the tour guide just about gave it away several times, as well as "that one guy" on the tour. When it came time to go out by the field, Kinji asked Kaleigh to "Teach me how to Tebow" and without hesitation, she did.

However, he did not get up. Instead he managed to pull a little cream box out of his pocket and asked, "Kaleigh, will you marry me?".

She of course said YES and we were able to celebrate with our friends and family that were there along for the ride. We then quickly had a few phone calls to make too!

It was such a fun experience and the perfect way for us to start this chapter of our lives - Thank you to EVERYONE who helped make this day so special and memorable for all.

Also, a special shoutout to Kaleigh's cousin Nickie (#7) who was there to capture all of the pictures we get to now share with everyone else today!

P.S.

Here's a Glimpse of the Ring!

{He Went To Jared!}

It has been a while...

It has been quite some time since I sat down to write something in here. As I was reading through my previous entries, it blows my mind how much my life has changed since then and all of the wonderful blessing Jesus has given me in that time frame. I went from being broken, to being made whole again in Christ, to now, planning a wedding with the man God choose for me! Not only does he bring such a calming effect to the craziness that happens all of the time, but he is also adding to the beautiful life that God is continuing to create all around me each and every day!

Most of you who know me, know this man that I am talking about. However, if you just happened to stumble upon this by accident (or even on purpose) let me unravel our story and how it came to be in which now we will soon become husband and wife on March 1st, 2014!

Where It All Began

Although neither one of us are good at running, we both exercised the activity a lot when we first started out.

We first met back in March of 2012 through softball and none other than...a sports bar. Although Kaleigh always said she never wanted to meet a guy from a bar, God has a funny sense of humor. Kaleigh was playing on a Tuesday night softball league down the street from where some of her friends met for trivia night too. This also happened to be where the rest of her softball team hung out as well as, you guessed it, Kinji too. Rumor has it that he noticed her weeks in advance, but never had the nerve to simply go up and say "Hello"; until one night after subbing on her team before venturing up the street after the game.

March 6th, 2012

It was a windy night in Peoria, Arizona on March 6th, 2012.  Kinji had come to the field too that night to play, but truth be told, no more than a "Hey, what's up?" was said in passing. Softball was brutal that night (weather wise) and Kaleigh was excited to hang out with everyone, indoors. As trivia started winding down, Kaleigh went to say goodbye to a friend that was leaving for Alaska, who also just so happened to be a friend of Kinji's that had invited him to play. She ever so effortlessly obtained Kaleigh's number and it was in Kinji's phone the very next day.

March 8th, 2012 - Interrogation Night

After mustering the courage to give Kaleigh a call, we decided to hang out in person on what is now known as "interrogation night". Not a first official date, but a night to get to know one another and feel each other out to make sure neither one of us were "crazy". We went to see "The Act of Valor" (such a good movie...everyone should watch it), pick up pictures that Kinji made at Kinko's and shared our first kiss in the FedEx parking lot. Yes, you read that right the parking lot of FedEx/Kinkos. Kaleigh should have known right then and there that he was the one since she NEVER kissed on the first date...especially interrogation ones. However, Kinji did say, "How many people can say they had their first kiss in the parking lot of FedEx?" Well, it's safe to say I think we are the only ones...but well worth it!

March 22nd, 2012 - The First Official Date

Kinji gets an A for this one! From the custom Brantley Gilbert/Luke Bryan playlist to the Team Shop shopping spree to the amazing seats at a Colorado Avs vs Phoneix Coyotes game...he knew how to win Kaleigh over. Such a fun way to continue to get to know eachother as well as enjoy a night on the ice. It was the same night Kaleigh realized, he was the one.

Separate Ways

Kinji also knew she was the one but the idea was a little intimadating and he was off running. However, this was all a part of God's bigger plan and enabled Kaleigh to go to Colorado for the summer to "sew some oats", learn and grow on her own...away from home.

Round Two

On August 31st, 2012 Kaleigh came back to Arizona for a visit, as well as none other than the Broncos vs Cardinals preseason game. As luck would have it, she met a fellow fan on the plane who had some extra tickets in which she extended to Kinji, knowing he lived close to the stadium. As luck would continue to have it, this opened up months of not talking and we were inseparable that whole week. Kaleigh then headed back to Colorado to finish out the summer and try and decide her next move. We tried to do the long distance thing, but after Kinji made a trip to visit her, Kaleigh's running shoes were now laced up and she was off...of course after moving back to Arizona.

Round Three

As Thanksgiving rolled around, a lot of things came into perspective and round three was ignited! After a lot of growing as individuals we were both ready to hang up our running shoes and start growing together..but slowly.

"I Love You" at 3am

It wasn't until December 18th, 2012 when Kaleigh was ready to say those three little words that mean the most. Convinced he was suppose to say it first, she couldn't hold it in anymore...especially not knowing what each day ahead might hold. Therefore, standing close and tracing the outline of his shark shirt, while braving the cool December air, we stood outside her car in front of his house with a faint sound of country music playing as the soundtrack setting and it just happened; fearlessly "I Love You" came out with no regret for the first time. Kinji replied without hesitation, "I Love You Too".

Unlike all good love stories, ours is different. Why? Because ours is written by the most incredible author, Jesus, and He doesn't just end on the last page...He continues to write with new pages and chapters being added all the time. Thank you so much to Him for allowing us the patience to wait for one another and answering so many spoken and unspoken prayers. Also, thank you for taking the time to listen to how it all began, but this is just the start!

I'm Not Who I Was

I Was Born at a Very Young Age:

I was born at a very young age in Phoenix, Arizona to two amazing people, my mom and dad. I feel privileged to say I grew up in a traditional household where my parents are still together to this day. We would go to church regularly, pray before meals and bed, talk about Jesus and be shown the ways of life through love, even “tough love”. My parents blessed me with a little brother when I was only two years old, however I did not always see him as a blessing.

My brother Robert and I were typical siblings that fought A LOT! We have always been competitive at heart and games would never last more than five minutes (ten if we were lucky) for the simple fact that it would always end in some kind of brawl and mom would step in and tell us to go find something else to play….separately. Needless to say, we were always finding “something else to play” on a pretty regular basis. She also would tell us that one day we would become best friends. We would always roll our eyes and reply, “Okay, yeah right mom.” But mom was right. I am honored to say my little brother is one of my absolute best friends and I could not ask for a better one. He has taught me so much and led me in so many ways that I am truly thankful for him, his heart and his guidance (yes, even as a little brother).

Taking a step back and pushing aside the fact that Robert and I would get into the occasional sibling clash, we also got to do a lot of stuff together – like camping (a lot of camping), sports, traveling and travel sports (that sometimes included camping). This allowed us to grow a lot as a family and as individuals – however it tended to take us away on the weekends which resulted in taking us away from church. Robert and I had a falling out with church once high school and junior high rolled around but we eventually found our ways back…and this is how I did.

How I Met The Love Of My Life:

As I mentioned, I grew up knowing who Christ was and what he did for me but it did not necessarily mean I completely understood what that meant. Not knowing that allowed me to get mixed in with the wrong group of people, who did not help me to see who Christ was. I have always strived to be the “nice girl” and was always seen as a rule follower even when I hung out with the kind of people that strived to be just the opposite. It made certain decisions hard to decipher but I am proud to say that through all of the obstacles I have faced running with the wrong crowd, that I was able to walk away staying true to myself and my morals. However, I wanted to seek why that was. I wanted to know why I had certain standards, morals and ways that I wanted to live my life. I wanted to figure out why my heart was always made heavy in certain situations and why I felt the need to live my life differently.

I had been invited to youth groups, including Young Life, several times in high school but I never wanted to step out of my comfort zone and try something new. That was until my brother invited me to check out this thing called Campaigners at Brian and Amy Orlovich’s house the summer before my sophomore year of college. I had no idea what it was but I was intrigued and wanted to check it out. It happened to be that night that the group was talking about what it meant to have a relationship with Jesus – something I had never considered before. So there I sat in a room full of high schoolers (and two adults) and I had my eyes and heart reopened; something that I would later learn that Young Life was all about.

A few days after meeting the Orlovich’s, Amy asked me if I would like to be a Young Life leader. I thought she was kidding. I cautiously accepted and met with her and Debbie Griggs to talk about what this whole Young Life thing was all about. I know now that it was purely Jesus that made the moves to make everything come into place and meet me right where I was, but he definitely used key people and ministries to help get the job done. I am honored to say that I have now been leading Young Life for three (going on four) years, and show no signs of stopping anytime soon. Needless to say, Jesus has done wonders in the way I see things, react to adversity and continue to run towards him every day. Just like my parents did as I was growing up, He has shown me and grown me through love – His love especially and the love of others too.

Life is Beautiful, Embrace It:

Every walk and path has speed bumps and obstacles along the way that the enemy tries to use to detour us back onto the beaten path; and mine was no different. I had the tremendous speed bump of a broken heart, a broken heart that would turn into one of the greatest transformations to take place. I came to a point in a relationship with one of my best friends (and boyfriend of five years) where I had to completely trust in Christ and believe that he had His hand on the entire situation. If this kind of situation would have taken place at the beginning of our relationship, I am not sure what I would have ultimately done; but God had been preparing me. He has used this relationship to teach me new things and allow me to teach new things to someone else. However, there is a point where He wanted both of us to let go and move in new directions separately. Looking back to almost a year ago, it was apparent that He was doing big things at the time of tears and confusion. He allowed my heart to be broken by someone else in order for Him to put the pieces back in the way He saw fit, not the way I did. In that time, I was able to see more beauty and more elegance in every little piece of my life. It helped transform me as person, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a co-worker and most importantly, a leader.

I know my path is far from over and I know obstacles like these won’t be the last, but one thing I am sure of is the strength he has instilled in me through all of it. I like to say now that I am fearless. Not because it sounds cool or something like that, but for the pure fact that that is what He wants from us.

"For I hold you by your right hand - I the Lord your God. And I say to you 'Don't be afraid, I am here to help you.'" - Isaiah 41:13

Things that use to put me on edge or shut me down because of fear have now faded into nothing but a small stone in my lighted path. Part of it simply comes from growing up, but the majority of it comes from the security of knowing I am His and He is there to catch me when I am standing on the edge. One of my favorite sayings that I was told when I was going through one of life’s storms was:

“When God leads you to the edge of the cliff, trust Him fully and let go. Only one of two things will happen: either He will catch you when you fall or He will teach you how to fly!”

It’s now so easy to see the design He has mapped out through His son and His word. John 10:10 is highlighted in ever aspect of life and he has allowed us to embrace that and take in the beauty of it all – especially though the little things.

I would like to personally thank you for taking the time to read about me and read about a small glimpse of what my life has been like this far. I know there is a lot more ahead and I am extremely excited to hang on and enjoy the ride, fearlessly.

Can't Keep Pretending

So I have been trying to think of something to write about in hopes of keeping the streak alive, but couldn't think of anything. UNTIL, earlier in the week I had a customer come to my teller window and share something with me that really got me to start thinking.

I love my job and the fact that we are community based and are enabled to build relationships with our customers. You may think, "Whats the big deal, you work at a bank and you're just a teller." Yes, that is true; however I have come to learn that in my experience I use to dread going to the bank but knew I needed to because my money was important...and people's money is important to them.

I see customers come and go with the occasional conversation and catch up on how life has been going and what not. General questions like, "Hey how is it going", "How was your weekend/day", "How are the kids doing" and so on. How many times have we been asked those questions and give just a basic response like, "I'm good, things are good, life is good, how are you?". Do you ever wonder what it would be like if someone gave a response you were not expecting and how you would react? Maybe it has happened before. Well for me it happened earlier this week.

A customer I have come to know occasionally over the last year has been coming in almost weekly the last month or so. Every time I see her, I greet her by her name and ask the general, "Hi how you?". Every time she responds the same, sometimes even with a little humor, but nonetheless she says she is fine. I go about doing her transactions, asking about her son and her new dog he got her and she could go on for hours if time allowed talking about them both. Every time she leaves me with a friendly "See ya later" and a smile, and we both go about our day.

Well this week was different, this week I had to tell her as she made her deposit, that her account had gone negative do to excessive overdraft fees (almost $500 in fees). She looked at me in shock. Her response was, "I knew it was going to be negative, but I didn't know by this much...I really don't know what to do." I've heard people explain why their account went negative or why they tried to spend money they did not have, but nothing like this.

Immediately she broke down in tears, right there at my teller window. The bright bubbly lady that always tells me everything is fine, was breaking down and sharing her story with ME. Truth is, over the last year she was diagnosed with breast cancer and a few months ago she had to have a bilateral mastectomy (both breasts removed). I had no idea. She went on to say that since the procedure she has not been herself as she has tried to face the physical pain of it all, and banking was the last thing on her mind. She told me that she always told everyone she was fine because she didn't want people to think she was weak, but now she doesn't know what to do.

In her case, she needed our help. She explained that she had finally woke up and had been without pain for a few days now and felt like she was ready to get back on her feet. She felt that she was ready to look for a job, be a mom, and be a grandma again. She went on to tell me that she pretended to be okay, even to her family. When she finally expressed that she was in pain (months later) her son didn't know how to take it, because she had acted and said she was okay for so long.

Have you ever been in that type of situation? Ever feel like you have to put on a brave face because you either don't want to let anyone in or you don't want people to think you are weak? Have you ever, after pretending for so long, try to be honest and they weren't sure how to respond because they were use to everything being 'just fine'? However if you let someone in, they can help pull you out. By pretending, we only mask the hurt or devastation we are feeling. By pretending, we are purposefully leaving our self alone to deal with the situation. As she turned to leave that afternoon, she left me with the simple phrase, "Don't Pretend."

As I thought about this conversation and that two word phrase, I compared it to a similar situation I have been praying about and trying to make a decision with. Out of four open teller windows she choose to come to me and share her story with me and it was exactly what I needed to hear. I've come to notice that in many ways I've pretended, and all for what? It only masks the truth and those who really know you, know the truth.

I've come to learn that God works in crazy, unexplainable, and purposeful ways. Just when you think you cannot listen anymore, he shows you otherwise. Just when I thought I was suppose to be getting something completely different out of the prayer I had been betting on, He showed me otherwise. He doesn't want us to pretend, and even when we are He knows the truth...so really who are we trying to hide from?

"For by one sacrifice he has made perfect forever those who are being made holy. Jesus has already done everything to make me right before God. The Holy Spirit continues to make me more like Jesus every day of my life. The finish line is when I enter eternity with my Savior. Until then I must remember everyday that I need a Savior." - Hebrews 10:14

Fear vs. Faith

And FAITH wins every time.

I was reading back through my journal and stumbled upon something I wrote on December 21st...a week before I realized a certain someone no longer had a hold on my heart. Just days before I found out information that only reassured me that I had made the right decision and should continue letting go, even as a friend. I don't know if anyone really reads what I have to say or what I have on my heart, but if you are thank you.
I hope you can respect my honesty and with that, I'll give you a peek at one of the first steps I took in completely guarding my heart and allowing only God to hold the key...until one day it's ready to be open again by my prince.

"So today I have been facing major anxiety over something I need to let go of and something I have no control over. I know I will have my good days and bad days, but I cannot help but worry about someone I once cared so much about. I fear for his life, decisions, mind and heart. I cannot control his actions, not anymore. I know he needs to fall in his own way...I just don't want to watch it happen. Lord, I know you have Your hands on him and I just want to let go...he is out of my hands and in yours."


That was my prayer, that was my heart crying out. That was what I had to lift off my heart and place in God's hands, not as an ex-girl friend, not as an ex-best friend, not even for him...but for me. For me to let go and let God. For me to lift up a brother in Christ and allow myself to move forward on MY journey with Jesus. For me to forgive.

You see, I let fear of my past and fear of what I could not change allow me to waver...something that only detours a path. I allowed fear to take over and allow me to turn my eyes away from the prize, for even a brief second. When all of this anxiety and fear started to take over, I thought back to a Gracemail Pastor Mark sent out the week before and how he talked about fear. Here is what I took from it:

"So he answered, 'Do not fear, for those who are with us are more than those who are with them.'" - 2 Kings 6:16

"Fear knocked at the door, Faith answered, and there was no one there" - Unknown
("It's all in how you approach things. If you cave into fear, it will overwhelm you; if you stand firm in God's strength, it will retreat." - Pastor Mark Martin)

"God incarnate is the end of fear, and the heart that realizes that He is in the midst will be quiet in the midst of alarm." - F.B. Meyer

"For I hold you by your right hand - I the Lord your God. And I say to you, 'Don't be afraid, I am here to help you.'" - Isaiah 41:13

The Bible says "DO NOT FEAR" 366 times, once a day including a leap year. God has our lives covered - Do Not Fear. God is our strength.

"Fear is the sand in the machinery of life." - E. Stanley Jones He also said, "Fear will mess you up. It is grit in your life, and you do not need it...AMEN!"

"Do Not Fear" - It is a choice and you can't choose fear, Faith will win every time.


Once I gave up the fear of what tomorrow would bring and the fear of "what if" moments...I was able to fully move forward. People may think I'm crazy, and should not be moving forward as quick as I am, but I've come to realize that I have a shield much greater than anything I could ever imagine. I've realized that God had been preparing me for that moment in November...to learn to trust Him and stop fighting His desires for me just so I could remain "comfortable". I've learned being "comfortable" does not allow you to live life to the fullest, as Christ wants us to. (John 10:10) It has allowed me to not fear my past and let go of present feelings about the past. It allowed me use my story as a testimony and not something to mourn over.

I do not regret a moment in the last five years of my life, learning to love, learning to trust, and learning to grow. I don't regret getting to know someone, getting to lead them and walk with them to Christ, and I definitely don't regret finally listening to my heart and letting go. There was a reason God brought us together and there is a reason God brought us apart, and for that I cannot regret. I've learned to forgive from my heart and live the life God has planned for me.
I've learned to trust the one person that eliminates fear, and guess what...FAITH won!

Dancin in the Rain

So as you woke up this morning you have all probably noticed the storm front that has come about. And if you have been listening or watching the news you probably have learned that this storm is set to be a big one.


Last week I went to visit one of my Young Life girls after she came home from knee surgery. Two of her best friends, who were also my Young Life girls, were also over visiting. As we were sitting and catching up on life, we noticed that the rain was starting up again. Earlier in the evening, I was hesitant to leave my house and go visit, just because I didn't want to get caught in the storm. However, it had cleared up enough for me to go and be there for her. As I was driving over there, this got me thinking of all of the times we stay reserved in stepping out in our faith, in fear of the hard ships we might face and the trials or mess the storm might bring. Fear holds us back.

10 "Listen, my son, accept what I say and the years of your life will be many. 11 Instruct you in the way of wisdom and lead you along straight paths. 12 When you walk, your steps will not be hampered; when you run, you will not stumble." Proverbs 4:10-12

21 "Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ. He anointed us, 22 set His seal of ownership on us, and put His spirit in our hearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.....24 Not that we lord it over your faith, but we work with you for your joy, because its by faith you stand firm." 2 Corinthians 1:21, 22, 24

As the storm started up again while we were continuing to visit, one of the girls got really scared and wanted to go home; however none of us wanted her to leave until it cleared up enough for her to drive (the rain was coming down so hard we couldn't see across the street).
Again, I thought of all the fears storms bring and it’s when the storms come that we want to run home, where we feel the most secure. Instead of embracing the storm, we tend to fear it.

18 "You will be secure, because there is hope; you will look about you and take your rest in safety." Job 11:18 (If you know little or none about the book of Job....he faced MANY storms and the Lord gave him security to overcome)

31 "As for God, His way is perfect. The Lord's word is flawless; He shields all who take refuge in Him. 32 For who is God besides the lord? And who is the Rock except our God? 33 It is God who arms me with strength and keeps my way secure." 2 Samuel 22: 31-33


The next day, I woke up to get ready for work, and noticed through my blinds the sun was out and all that was left were scattered leaves and a few puddles. I immediately grabbed my phone to text the one girl who I had been scared the night before. She had been up late talking with me after she got home, to help ease her fears of being "alone". I am glad she was able to turn to me as a friend, and all of this may seem cliché, but isn't that what God is for? To talk with when our fears seem to be too much, and to know we are never alone. Isn't that why he gives us storms, ensuring that we may turn to him for help? As we learn to embrace the storms we face, we start to see the sun that breaks through after the rain is gone, and that we were never alone.

29 He stilled the storm to a whisper; the waves of the sea were hushed. 30 They were glad when it grew calm, and he guided them to their desired haven. 31 Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for mankind." Psalm 107 29:31


When I texted her, I simply told her that that a new day laid ahead of here, there is always calm after the storm, and God always sends the Sun. Even though we find it hard to think about that in the moment, when we are getting hit from every direction with wind, rain (and sometimes even hale), we have to remember that God always sends SUN to shine and shed light on what just happened. Just as he sent his SON to shed light on what lies ahead and clean up our mess caused by the storm of sin. This allows us to see the mess of which we were in and the strength He has given us to continue forward, On Wings Like Eagles.

31 "but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:31

As a new storm seems to be creeping its way into Arizona , don't forget to think about:

DON'T Be Hesitant to go forward in fear of the storm.
You can ALWAYS Run Home to a safe place and you are NEVER alone.
EMBRACE the Storm, don't fear it.
There will ALWAYS be Sun after the storm, for the greatest SON has already come and continues to shine.


"Life isn't about how to survive the storm (since that's already been taken care of), but learning how to dance in the rain." - Unknown

Broken Hearts, Open Eyes.

Every time I am up at camp I learn something new, it never fails....just like Jesus' love. Two weekends ago I was up at winter camp 2010 and it was the weirdest trip I have been a part of. All of the other leaders and of coarse my girls were absolutely amazing, but I was facing a spiritual battle (including the week leading up to camp).

To speed you up to the present, I had to let someone close to me go, because they weren't the person I once knew. It did not mean I did not love them any less, however I knew for my own sanity and heart it was something that had to be done; and it was one of the hardest conversations I ever had to do. Brokenness is never easy to overcome, especially in the situation I was in, but I knew God was holding me and my heart.

The week before camp I was exhausted...physically, mentally, and spiritually. The night before we left, I came home from work, fell asleep on my bed that had laundry sprawled out needing to be packed, and woke up the next day still in my work clothes. I kept praying for the strength and courage to face the weekend, knowing I was going to have to face the person that broke my heart. Once at camp I felt relief and a sense of calming, however I was always nervous of what was in store with every conversation and every situation. Eventually everything caught up to me, the exhaustion, the stress, the fear and I had to break down and ask for help. With tears streaming down my face, I asked my friend to pray for me and help me when I could no longer help myself. At that moment I could literally feel the weight of the brokenness and hurt be lifted off my heart and shoulders and I had a new found strength...God took upon my yoke.

About an hour later came my favorite part of camp, even as a leader. It was the 15 minute quiet time...time to spend with God. Can you imagine a camp of 500+ people go from absolute chaos during the day to absolute silence for 15 minutes! It is always an incredible experience, and this is what I came to realize...

During my 15 minutes, I was expecting to cry (since that is what I was doing just an hour before). I took the time to lay and look up at the stars (and of coarse shiver). I was, for the first time in weeks, able to pray with a clear head and not have a million and one things running though my mind all at once. I was able to see God's purpose, not my own.

As I was laying there praying for my heart and my broken relationship with what was now an old friend, I was finally able to let a little more go. For the last couple of weeks I had been fooling myself thinking "letting go" is as easy as actually doing it. However, I finally learned that it is a process...and I am still taking it step by step.

I've learned that it is good to see the bad in people, it helps to allow that change and that growth to take place without holding on. Not to brag, but I have a gift for always seeing the good and the potential in people. I am not complaining by any means, but sometime my judgement can be clouded when all I want is for the person to let that good shine through.

It is amazing to know that God has not once left my side and is holding my tighter than ever as I continue to take baby steps towards the edge for a better view. I have learned to let go of false hope in thinking some people can change and become the people I am suppose to have in my life forever. I always envisioned that that was the real reason to hold on and make things work was because we were meant to be together forever. However, I have now seen that I cannot always be the post to lean on, sometimes I need someone to lean on too and I cannot continue to push forward when someone is holding me back. Eventually MY light would burn out if I am always trying to ignite someone elses.

Maybe eventually we can become friends again, but only time will tell. The theory is good, but the relationship my not be. I realized that people were brought into my life to allow me to witness to someone, share in their walk and hard times, as well as to show me that love does exist. They were also brought into my life to bring me closer to the one man that will never break my heart.

My relationship with Christ has grown in such a short time, its amazing. Although it has been tear filled and full of crazy moments, I know that not once He has left my side. I know that He is collecting my tears and crying with me. I know He is in the process of making me stronger; as a person, as a leader, and as His.

It is amazing to see what in just 15 minutes alone with God can bring into focus and allow me to see with a clear mind and an open heart. I am so excited to see what God has in store for me, I just need to learn patience to allow it to take place in His
time, not mine. For that, I am truly grateful for every break in my heart, every person lifting me up in prayer and encouragement, and every conversation Christ has had with me.

I know this situation has happened to me for a reason, and God has already allowed me to use it in many ways, and I know He isn't finished yet.

Thank you so much to listening to the story for my first broken heart and if it has touched you in anyway I would love to hear! Either comment down below, message me on Facebook, or send me an email kaleighb@yahoo.com

God Bless and Love Always,

Kaleigh